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Chapter One
SHENANIGANS IN SKALSGARD * A small vanara man and a pale “human” man trundled into a shanty store in the town of Fjord in the nation of Skalsgard. * The pale-faced man introduces himself to the seemingly trustworthy shopkeeper as Malcolm Sinclair, a skilled gunslinger hailing from the land of Grandall’Torr. He expresses an interest in acquiring a sidearm and some ammunition. Malcolm instantly senses that something with the shopkeeper is amiss when the bloke won’t tell the gunslinger what his true name is. After a heated argument, the shopkeeper still refuses to offer his name, and so Malcolm settles on simply calling the man “Snively Sam”. Sam does not appear to be happy about this, but the man has only himself to blame for this punishment, due to his reluctance to properly introduce himself to his fine paying customers. * The monkey man, like the shopkeeper, refused to reveal his true name, and insisted that Malcolm refer to him only as Ahh. The gunslinger frowned and vowed to only refer to the monkey as Gulkyn until he revealed his true name. * The shopkeep forked over 10 copper bullets, a punching dagger, and some leather armor to Malcolm. The gunslinger equipped the gear and, instead of leaving, hung around inside the shop, creeping in the corner, smoking a cigarette, ignoring the NO SMOKING sign on the wall, trying to look cool. * Gulkyn the vanara bargained with the shopkeep, looking through the various weapons the bloke had for sale. Since he was fond of primarily using magic, naturally none of Sam’s weapons particularly caught Gulkyn’s eye, except for a menacing hook-hand. “What’s that?” the vanara asked. Snively Sam told him with a sneer, “What do you think? It’s a glove with a hook on it.” “That sounds pretty neat, I’ll take it!” said Gulkyn cheerily. “Okay, whatever you say,” Sam grabbed the vanara’s hand, drew a bloody ax from behind his back, and nearly chopped off Gulkyn’s hand. Gulkyn pulled his hand away from the maniac just in time. * “What the hell, man?” Malcolm asked from the corner. “What?” Sam asked incredulously, “he wanted his hand replaced with a hook!” * “You said it was a glove with a hook on it!” Gulkyn squealed. “You never said anything about cutting my hand off!” “It was implied!” Sam gurgled. * Suddenly a massive, golden, eight foot tall lizardfolk man strolled into the shop. Snively Sam tossed some racist remarks at the lizardfolk, then sighed, “As if there aren’t enough minorities in this damn town.” * The hulking lizardfolk instantly despised Sam the shopkeeper. He slammed his clawed fist onto the counter, declared himself to be a mighty bloodrager named Strongback, then demanded some adventuring gear. Sam scoffed, then showed Strongback some of his wares, being as rude as possible. * After some annoying back and forth, Gulkyn and Strongback both bought some armor and basic weapons. The lizardfolk purchased a marvelous Two-Handed Greatsword, sharp enough to easily cut through a boot like butter. Gulkyn bought a nifty spiked gauntlet. Malcolm flicked his cigarette onto the floor and asked, “How much for a room?” Sam looked confused, “What?” he screeched. * “How much gold do I have to pay you to have a room for the night?” the pale man asked. Sam squealed, “This isn’t a tavern!” * “I’d like a room as well.” Strongback declared, “Name your price.” he demanded. * The baffled shopkeeper attempted to explain that the only room in his shop was his own bedroom, but Strongback merely replied, “And?” In a weedy little voice, Snively Sam stammered, “Look. I sell adventuring gear. Basic weapons, suits of armor, camping equipment, that sort of thing. If you’re looking for a place to sleep, there’s a tavern just down the street. Or, if you’re low on gold, there’s also a bunkhouse that offers cheap rooms. Now then, is there anything else you’d like to buy?” “Yes, I’d like to buy a room,” the disgruntled lizardfolk bluntly insisted. “Make that two rooms,” Malcolm added. * Sam shook his head and muttered something under his breath. Strongback caught the words, “...dirty foreigners…” The lizardfolk loomed over the shopkeeper, straining his neck, he looked like: * His blood boiling, Strongback snarled, “What was that? I couldn’t quite hear you. Speak up.” Snively Sam seemed to shrink as Strongback’s vast shadow fell over him. Sam gulped and muttered, “I want all three of you freaks out of my store right now, or else I’ll call the guards.” * Suddenly, a brutish gnoll man strolled into the store, ready to make an informed purchase. “And who the Hell are YOU?” Sam squealed at the hyena boy. “Is the damn circus in town?” The gnoll was immediately confused at the shopkeeper’s aggression. “My name is Nargo. I’m a mercenary. I just wanted to buy some gear.” the gnoll growled simply. Sam reluctantly apologized for his behavior to the gnoll and sold him a gleaming greatsword along with a suit of hide armor. The shopkeeper also revealed his real name to Nargo, it was Arnaldr. * “Now then, about these rooms...” Malcolm began, but Sam cut him off, “For the last time I don't have any rooms!” Nargo piped up, “I could use a nice place to sleep tonight. How much gold for a bedroom?” Snively Sam screamed, “I SELL ADVENTURING GEAR! THIS IS NOT AN INN!” * “But the sign outside says ‘inn’,” Nargo told the shopkeeper. Sam squealed, “No, the sign says ‘come on in’!” * Gulkyn suddenly grabbed Nargo by his shoulders and introduced himself, spitting all over the hyena. Nargo pushed the vanara away and ran out of the shop, not wanting to get involved with the inevitable chaos. * “Now you three…” Sam pointed to the pale man, the lizard, and the monkey, “GET. OUT. OF. MY. STORE. NOW!” * Malcolm, Gulkyn (essentially Aigee-Gorg), and Strongback instantly protested. They threw some very reasonable demands at the shopkeep, but the fool denied them the time of day. Sam slipped his head out the door and called two guards into the store. “This is obviously racial discrimination!” Strongback roared as a troop of armored guards (all of whom just so happened to be white human males) marched into the shop. “All we want is a place to stay for the night! If the three of us were white, human men, you wouldn’t dare disrespect us like this! We’re strangers to this land, you should welcome us as guests rather than oppress us!” * The guards tried to restrain the massive lizardfolk, but Strongback was not having it. He slammed the puny guards face-first into the ground. Gulkyn used his agility to leap up to the rafters. Hearing the commotion, around five or six more guards rushed into the store. “What’s goin’ on in here!?” one guard demanded. Malcolm pointed to the guards on the ground, “These blokes tried to assault this innocent lizardfolk!” * Snively Sam squealed, “He’s lying! These three have been terrorizing me and my fine establishment all morning!” * The guards instantly believe the white-skinned male human, and turn their weapons on the trio of foreigners without even hearing their side of the story. * Their weapons drawn, the guards circled around the golden lizardfolk, shouting that he was under arrest for assaulting officers of the law. Strongback glanced down at the puny guards he’d slammed only seconds ago, then explained with a shrug, “Where I come from, slamming someone into the ground is considered a formal greeting. I was just saying hello.” The circling guards yelled, “That’s no excuse! We have strict laws here in Skalsgard! Now surrender yourself or face the full force of the law.” Strongback pushed another guard and was instantly swarmed. Despite his monster strength, Strongback was taken down by the numerous guards, and was handcuffed. * Malcolm whipped out his loaded musket and frantically began pointing it into the faces of the aggressive, racist guards. “Let that man go!” Malcolm cried, “Or I’ll shoot, I swear to God! Let him go!” Strongback writhed around in his cuffs, desperately trying to break free. “PUT THE GUN DOWN.” a large guard shouted. The police force began to circle the gunslinger. * Gulkyn in the rafters tickled a couple of guards with his tail, triggering them hard. * “Let me leave unharmed and I won’t shoot!” Malcolm demanded. Suddenly, from behind, he was taken down by some idiot guard. “OPPRESSION! I’M BEING OPPRESSED.” the gunslinger yelled, letting the world know. His musket was confiscated and his stomach was sucker punched. * Strongback and Malcolm were forcibly escorted out of the shop. A few guards stayed behind to capture the slimy monkey man swinging around in the rafters. “Get down from there you filthy ape!” a bloke screamed. The vanara only giggled, continuing to dangle from the ceiling. Gulkyn’s tail was grabbed and he was dragged to the floor kicking and screaming, cuffed, then sent with the other two guys that were wrongfully arrested. * Without receiving a trial of any kind or being read their rights, Malcolm, Gulkyn, and Strongback were marched to the castle dungeons and locked within cold, rusty cells for the night. The human guards laughed at the three imprisoned foreigners, imitating monkey sounds at Gulkyn and hissing at Strongback. The guards then returned to their warm barracks, leaving the prisoners locked away without any food, water, or means to keep themselves warm. * “Sorry for the disturbance.” a guard told Snively Sam. Sam was finally left alone in his store. Just as the shopkeep was about to close shop for the night, another lizardfolk strolled into the store. “OH MY GOD, THERE’S MORE OF YOU?!” the idiot cried. This lizardfolk looked similar to Strongback, except his rigid scales were a stone grey, and he was slightly shorter and younger. He also had a beard for some reason. His name was Stönback. His name was pronounced Stone-Back. The lizard held out the palm of his hand and demanded some gear from Sam the Sniveling. * The shopkeeper reluctantly forked over some armor and a scimitar, the lizard flicked over some gold. With a pocket full of sus, the grey lizardfolk departed the store and headed to the local tavern for a drink. * The tavern was bustling with drunken patrons making merry, sloshing their glasses of ale and singing with slurred voices. Rather than join in the merry-making, the stony lizardfolk made his way over to the bar and took the only empty seat, which just so happened to be beside Nargo the gnoll ranger, who was enjoying a tankard of mead all on his lonesome. The gnoll nodded to the strange lizardfolk next to him, then continued drinking his mead. Stönback slammed his fist on the counter and bellowed, “TEQUILA!!!!” * Sensing that chaos was about to ensue, Nargo left the lizardfolk at the bar and sat by himself over in the corner. * Stönback followed after the gnoll and once again cried, “TEQUILA!!!!” Nargo, who was quite drunk and in high spirits, decided to simply play along and growled back, “TEQUILA!!!!” The two continued to shout until finally the bartender approached them and asked them what they wanted. The gnoll and lizardfolk roared in unison, “TEQUILA!!!!” The bartender replied wearily, “We don't serve any of that fancy alcohol here.” Nargo demanded, “Then what’s the strongest drink you got?” The bartender shrugged, “We got ale. We got mead. Not much else.” * The two are unsatisfied and start up the chant once more. “TEQUILA!!!” they bellow at the bartender. “Ok, ok we do have a special drink that may suffice.” Stönback immediately ordered the drink, but Nargo once again sensed that things were about to get ugly, so he finished off his mead and quickly left the tavern. The bartender hands Stönback a flaming hot flagon. Stönback instantly goes in for a big ol’ bite of the scolding flagon. His lizard teeth shatter through the weak metal flagon, Stönback suckles from the flagon and hisses, “IT’S HOT!” to the bartender. * “Why did you bite it, you maniac!?” the bartender wails. Stönback slams the flagon onto the ground and demands that the bartender clean it up. When the barkeep refuses to clean his mess, Stönback picks the flagon up off of the floor and drinks the rest of it. “It’s good guys.” * Back at the prison, Strongback and Gulkyn are conspiring against each other, with Malcolm in the middle of it all. “Hey, see those golden scales on Strongback? I bet those could sell for a pretty penny.” Gulkyn whispered to Malcolm. Before he could respond, Strongback whispered to him, “You see that exotic monkey boy? I bet we could fetch a nice price sellin’ him to somebody as a slave.” * The befuddled gunslinger instantly told both men about the other’s plans, then retreated to the corner of the cell where he could be alone. Strongback and Gulkyn shared an uncomfortable glance. * Nighttime fell over Skalsgard. Stönback took refuge from the unforgiving cold night in the tavern. Gulkyn, Strongback, and Malcolm slept in the cold, stone-floored cell. Nargo took a load off in the cheap bunkhouse, sleeping alongside some beggars and a few shifty-looking folk, the gnoll slept with one eye open to make sure nobody got their grubby mitts on his gold. * Hours later, the sun rose over the horizon, a rooster cawed, signalling the start of another day. It was snowing lightly, and a blizzard was quickly encroaching. Stönback laid face-first upon the floor of the tavern, snoring loudly, sleeping off his aching hangover. A young courier stepped inside the tavern and poked Stönback with a stick until the lizardfolk awoke and groggily lumbered to his feet. “Whattya want, boy?” Stönback demanded, his voice slurred. The courier quickly explained that a golden lizardfolk was arrested last night for causing a public disturbance. “Golden lizard?” Stönback asked. “That’s my big bro!” The courier led him over to the castle where his older brother was imprisoned. * Down in the dungeons, a burly guard trundled over to the cell and awoke the three wrongfully-accused prisoners. “Wakey wakey, fellas. The law has decided that, because you are new to Fjord, we will let you all off with a warning… after paying a small fine, of course.” * “We were wrongfully arrested! All we wanted was a place to sleep! I demand that we be let go without paying a fine!” Strongback growled. The guard refused to comply with this perfectly reasonable offer, he insisted that the lads would have to pay up, or, alternatively, work a few hours of community service. “I don’t have any gold! And I REFUSE to work like a slave for this ‘community service’!” Strongback yelled, “LEMME OUT OF HERE!” * After 10 minutes or so of back-and-forth arguing, Malcolm and Gulkyn finally give in and pay the fine of 20 gold. “Hey, wait!” Strongback yelled as the other two were let out of the cell. Despite the lizard wanting to sell the monkey into slavery, Gulkyn agreed to pay half of Strongback’s fine. Malcolm and Gulkyn threw the guard ten gold each, and the bloodrager was finally released from captivity. * The gang is escorted out of the castle, back to the streets of Fjord. At the gates of the castle, Stönback is waiting. Stönback claps Strongback’s strong back and says, “Ehhh! Strongback, big bro Strongback! It’s good to see ya!” Strongback facepalmed and muttered something under his breath about his little brother always embarrassing him but eventually they share a giant bearhug, each one trying to break the other’s back; a feat that no man could accomplish as Strongback’s back was simply too strong and Stönback’s back was as hard and unyielding as a ten ton boulder. * Nargo was prowling the streets for somebody that might want to hire his mercenary services, when he spotted the group of freaks standing at the castle gates. The gnoll recognizes his rowdy lizardfolk friend from the night before and trots over to say hello. Nargo and Stönback shake hands and say together, “Tequila!” Then the gnoll looks at the rest of the freaks and says, “I remember you guys. From Arnaldr’s shop.” Gulkyn squeals, “His name is Snively Sam!” * Malcolm asked the vanara, “Yeah, and what is your name?” Gulkyn finally reveals his true name. He scribbles his name on a scrap of paper and hands it to Malcolm. The gunslinger reads the sloppy handwriting and is initially confused. He glances up at the monkey and asks, “What is this?!” * “It’s my name!” the vanara exclaimed. Malcolm showed the piece of paper to the rest of the blokes. They all looked in confusion at the word “Kerhsgib.” Strongback stared judgmentally at the monkey and asked, “Were your parents not right in the head? What kind of name is Kerhsgib?!” The monkey shrugged. * Malcolm examined the paper closer and came to a shocking revelation. “Oh my god… It’s ‘Big Shrek’ spelled backwards!” he said, disappointed. Everyone groaned, then gave the vanara THE GLARE. Off in the distance, the group spotted a large commotion. A bunch of people were surrounding a very bloody man. * “Hey, check that out.” Nargo said, pointing at the commotion, “What do you think’s goin’ on over there?” * Nobody replied, for nobody cared. * “So Strongback, how’d you get sent to the Stony Lonesome?” Stönback asked his brother. Strongback pointed in the direction of Snively Sam’s shop, “That damned shopkeeper got us all arrested, that racist son of a Gorg.” Stönback scoffed, “I thought that guy was pretty slimy.” * A group of guards pushed their way through the crowds of curious people, dragging the bloody man along. The party got a good look at the bloody lad. He was short and plump. He had a slate white beard and short, slightly disheveled hair of the same color. Despite his serious wounds, this bloody fellow looked positively jolly. His face had a surprised, bemused, inquisitive expression. He was carrying with him a copy of Lorraine Hansberry's A Raisin in the Sun in one hand and a fresh baguette in the other hand. The gang heard one of the guards refer to him as Kevin Giggy. * As they neared the castle gates, they ordered the group of misfits to step aside unless they wanted to spend another night in the dungeons. “Make way! Make way!” the guards barked. But the group was reluctant to make way. In fact, as payback for the discrimination he had suffered, Strongback decided to do a little dance, an exact recreation of Squidward’s interpretive dance, right in front of the gates as a protest. * The guards were forced to patiently wait until Strongback’s dance was finished before the golden lizardfolk allowed them to drag the bloody man into the castle. * “Yo, what happened to that man?” Malcolm asked as the guards passed by. One of the guards, a man named Daryn, replied, “No time to explain right now. I’ll return in about five minutes and tell you the whole story, if you’re interested.” The guards shuffled away, and the five adventurers waited until the guard eventually came back. Daryn explained that the bloody man was a citizen of Fjord who lived on the outskirts in a small cottage. The guards weren’t exactly sure what had happened in the small cottage, but they suspected that necromancy (which was greatly frowned upon in Skalsgard) was involved somehow. * The guards needed someone to go investigate the cottage and find out what went down. Since Malcolm, Kerhsgib, Strongback, Stönback, and Nargo look to be the adventurous type, Daryn asks them to go investigate, assuring them that they would receive 200 gold each for their work. * Kerhsgib caused a bit of a ruckus when he suddenly claimed, “Hey, I’m a necromancer!!!” Everyone in the streets were shocked, then they began crowding around the vanara, cracking their knuckles. “Necromancer, eh?” a burly man asked. “We don't take kindly to your type ‘round here, monkey boy.” Before the crowds of Skalsgardians could lynch the vanara, Daryn stepped in and said, “He’s just joking! Right Kerhsgib?” The vanara started dancing, trying to replicate the dance Strongback had performed a few minutes ago. “See? He’s just a joker!” Daryn said to the crowds. The Skalgardians sulked away, saddened that there’d be no lynching on this day. * After each member of the group signed a contract inside the castle, they set off on their adventure. But before they begin the journey to the cottage, Nargo, Stönback, and Kerhsgib pay a visit to Snively Sam’s shop to procure a few healing potions in case this adventure proves to be too dangerous. Sam, disappointed that Kerhsgib has been let out of prison, forks over four light healing potions. Kerhsgib buys two, and Nargo and Stönback buy one each. * Snively Sam advises the adventurers that the wilderness is extremely cold and a blizzard is on the way, so they should buy some supplies to keep warm with. Sam just so happens to have a super warm blanket for sale. The blanket is probably worth 50 gold at most, but since Snively Sam harbors a deep hatred for foreigners, he jacks up the price to an outrageous 300 gold. The adventurers protest that they don't have that kind of money, but Sam tells them with a cruel smile, “That’s too bad. Have fun freezing to death, outsiders.” The shopkeeper chortled as the party stormed out of the shop. * The adventurers gear up, grab their bindles, and head out into the wilderness, following a narrow trail which leads to the cottage. Stönback takes the lead, walking a few inches ahead of his older brother. Malcolm didn’t seem to mind the cold at all. In fact, the gunslinger began to complain about the weather being too hot. Nargo and Kerhsgib were able to keep warm thanks to their fur. However, Strongback and Stönback had a rough time adjusting to the cold. Stönback in particular nearly froze to death on the journey to the cottage. But despite the cold, the stony lizardfolk never once complained and continued to walk in the lead. * After a 20 minute leisurely stroll through the woods, the gang of misfits stumble upon the cottage that Daryn told them about. The cottage was made of old, dusty wood, and was the perfect size for a rotund fellow such as Mr. Giggy. It was truly an ominous sight. Outside, there was a large pile of logs, and a wood chopping block with an ax leaning on it. Stönback grabbed the ax, which was smeared with blood, then the gang cautiously investigated around the cottage, peering through the broken windows. Jumbled footprints and blood stains surrounded the small building. The stench of rotten meat lingered in the air. * Nargo pushed open the front door with his sword, shoving aside a table that was blocking the entrance, but did not enter. Everyone was hesitant to go inside, so Strongback took charge and barged right in, grabbing the table that was blocking the door and slamming it against the wall, making his presence known to all. The cottage was empty. * Stönback and Kerhsgib blasted through the window, the barbarian cutting himself in the process on the broken glass. Inside they found more blood and signs of a struggle. The stench of rotting flesh was eye-watering. The cottage was in such a state of ruin that it was a wonder that Kevin Giggy actually lived here. They looked around a little more, but didn’t discover anything particularly out of the ordinary. Thinking that there might be a secret hatch that may lead to a basement, Nargo started stomping around until he discovered a hidden door underneath the bed. * Strongback grabbed the Giggy-size bed and shattered it against the wall. Looks like the adventurers will be sleeping on the floor tonight. * The hatch is locked up tight with a padlock, which Malcolm swiftly destroys with a precise shot from his musket. * They open up the secret hatch and find a staircase leading down into darkness. Kerhsgib, channeling the power of the legendary Aigee Gorg, conjures up a figure of light and sends it dancing down the stairs. After deciding that the basement is safe, the party march down there and find a small statue of a man sitting on an altar. The statue depicts the god known as Zeraz who is a patron to necromancers. They take the statue, along with a crimson amulet they find, and return upstairs. They’d like to investigate the place more, but it’ll have to wait until tomorrow, for the sunlight is fading fast and the blizzard is encroaching upon them. * Strongback and Stönback head over to the woodpile and carry back 20 logs each over their shoulders. They slam the logs into the fireplace and Nargo gets to work sparking up a fire with his flint and steel. After a miserable crit fail, Kerhsgib takes the flint and steel from the ranger and strikes up a fire on his first try. The party then get to work boarding up the broken windows so that the snow and freezing wind can’t get in. However, since they don't have any nails to hold the boards in place, the adventurers will simply have to endure the blizzard. They settle around the roaring fire and prepare for a long, cold night. * Strongback searched around a little bit more and found a few bear furs. The lizardfolk bragged to the others that he’d have no trouble staying warm tonight with his furs. * The lads are able to stay relatively warm, except for Strongback, who almost freezes to death. Strongback’s fancy furs made no difference whatsoever. Malcolm, on the other hand, was completely fine and dandy, the cold had essentially zero effect on him. “How are you not freezing to death over there?!” Nargo asked the gunslinger, who was hanging around the corner of the room, as far away from the fire as he could be. Malcolm shrugged and replied, “It feels pretty hot in here to me.” as he opened up one of the windows, letting in a furious gust of freezing cold wind that nearly blew out the fire. Strongback’s scaly skin turned an icy blue. * Late into the night, the party heard some shuffling outside of the cottage, like footsteps. Nargo snuck up to the window to get a look outside. The gnoll spots a shambling figure limping towards the window. Without warning, the decrepit figure bashes through the window and grabs for Nargo, who manages to dodge just barely. * The adventurers are met with a gruesome sight: squirming through the window is a hideous zombie, its rotten flesh hanging in tatters, its lifeless eyes staring hungrily at the startled party. Out of the blizzard shamble more silhouettes of zombies that start banging against the front door and crawling through the broken windows. * ROLL FOR INITIATIVE! * Cue Straight From Hell as the cottage is swarmed by the grotesque undead foes. The five heroes draw their weapons and prepare for a bloody battle! * A large zombie covered with icicles emerges from a mound of snow and goes after Strongback. The freezing lizard unsheathed his claws and took a wild swipe at the shambling dead man, ripping the zombie’s guts open. But the shambler seems to have been enchanted with ice magic, for as soon as Strongback sinks his claws into the monster’s decayed flesh, a wave of ice surges through the lizard. Coming absolutely unglued, the bloodrager utters the beastial roar, “SO COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!” He grabs the cold-zombie, lifts the undead bloke into the air over his head, and slams him straight into the blazing fireplace with all his strength. The zombie explodes into ice and snow, promptly extinguishing the flames, plunging the cottage into cold darkness. * Nargo, Stönback, Malcolm, and Kerhsgib deal with the rest of the zombies, the gunslinger blowing them to bits with his musket and everyone else slicing and dicing the foes with the weapons they purchased from Snively Sam. Kerhsgib uses burning glaze to rejuvenate the fire, illuminating and heating Giggy’s cottage once again. The final shambler is put out of its misery, but to everyone’s shock, as the monster collapses to the floor a strange spectral figure rises out of it. The adventurers spring an attack upon the phantom but their weapons faze straight through its ghostly body. Egads! * Kerhsgib asks the phantom who it is, but the entity remains silent and calmly walks out the door out into the blizzard. Malcolm pursues after the blimey but loses him in the thick snow. The gunslinger ran back inside to inform the gang that the phantom got away. The excitement died down and the party once again gathered round the fire, sleeping lightly in case any more zombies turned up for another midnight attack. * The following day the party stepped outside and found a set of glowing footprints leading straight to the doorway of an ancient burial mound. Over to the mound they shuffle. Kerhsgib climbs onto a tree and begins to travel using the treetops, swinging on vines, jumping from tree to tree, proving to the gang that he is the most agile. Malcolm chuckles and climbs the tree as well. To everyone’s surprise, he vastly outperformed the vanara at swinging from the trees and easily beat everyone else to their destination. * The lads find the doorway blocked by a pile of snow. Inside the barrow, a frightened voice squeaks, “Hello? Is someone out there! Please, let me out! I sought refuge in this barrow last night to escape the blizzard, but I’ve been snowed in! Please, you have to help me!” * After sussing back and forth with the man trapped in the barrow, the adventurers dig in the snow for nearly forty-five minutes until they finally uncover the door. * Inside the barrow they meet an odd, robed fellow named Varlan Agathion, who is joined by an undead thrall. After learning that Varlan is a necromancer, the party are suspicious of him. “Were you the lad who sent those undead goons to attack us last night?” Malcolm demands, leveling his musket at Varlan. * The necromancer quickly explains himself, “No! I would never do such a thing! I’m simply here to investigate this barrow. As you’ve already noticed, dead bodies in this area are being resurrected by something. I believe the source of this dark magic lies within this barrow, and it’s my goal to find this magic and put a stop to it.” * Though they don’t yet trust Varlan, they agree to accompany the necromancer and his thrall into the depths of the crypt. Along the way they came across several disturbed, empty sarcophagi. The musty air smelled of death and decay. As they slunk around, the gang explained to Varlan that they’d been hired by the guards of Fjord to come check out the cottage and figure out what all the hubbub was. As the party rounded the next corner they spotted a few zombies lurking about. One of the shamblers, a little girl, was gorging itself on another corpse. * Malcolm stealthily aimed around the corner, pulled the trigger, and blew the zombie-child’s head clean off its shoulders with a precise sneak attack. The thunderous gunshot echoed throughout the crypt, awakening a large mass of undead. The zombies may be rotten and not very powerful, but they clearly outnumber our heroes. One of the undead cretins even speaks to them, repeatedly growling, “Murder! Murder!” Varlan quickly pointed his finger to the sky, and blinding light fired from his heirloom ring. He muttered the word, “...Kill.” The light struck several of the shamblers, turning them to dust and bones. The remaining zombies were eventually slain, but just as the party was celebrating their victory, out of the crypt emerged a massive skeleton knight wielding a rusty greatsword in one hand and a shield in the other. * The skeleton towered over the group, standing even taller than Strongback. The villain clashed its greatsword against its shield, challenging the party. * A fearsome quarrel ensued, the brave adventurers fighting with all their might against the Skelly. But to their dismay, nearly every blow they threw at the monster bounced straight off its shield and armor. Finally Strongback (who was still freezing in the cold) charged full speed at the villain, unleashing his bloodrager power. “Enough of this!” * With a swift swipe of his trusty Two-Handed Greatsword, Strongback sliced off the tip of the Skelly’s boot. To everyone’s shock, there was meat tightly packed into the villain’s boot. “MEAT IN THE BOOT?!” Strongback roared in disbelief before vomiting onto the floor. In his rage, the golden lizard landed the finishing blow, cleanly slicing off the Skelly’s skull. It rolled away across the floor and the villain crumbled into a pile of old bones. * Pouring out of the skull’s eye sockets was a ghostly blue light. Cracking open the skull they discovered a little blue gem, which according to Varlan was the source of the dark magic resurrecting the corpses in the crypt. However, the mystery of who put the gem into the Skelly’s skull and why remained. The lads also discovered an ancient stone tablet covered with writing, but it was written in a forgotten tongue that none could decipher. They stashed away the tablet for later. “I plan to study this gem,” the necromancer told them. “I’d join the five of you in Fjord, but I’m not quite welcome there. So I suggest we all meet in a place known as Vyngaryl soon -an old crypt near Hofsvagr- so that we may further discuss this whole necromancy business without having to worry about getting lynched by the Skalsgardians—” * Varlan Agathion’s words were abruptly cut off when Stönback bluntly interrupted with an exaggerated cry of, “MY KNEE!” * Everyone fell silent at once. Uneasily they glanced down at the lizardfolk’s knee, which looked perfectly fine on the surface. The dreadful silence continued. * Stönback stared deeply into Varlan’s eyes for what felt like an eternity. No one in the crypt was brave enough to speak or move, all they could do was simply stay where they were and wait for the nightmare to finally end. * Finally Varlan cleared his throat and said quietly, “Well, um… yes. We shall meet again soon in Vyngaryl… and speak more there… It was good to meet all of you… well, I suppose I should get going now…” The necromancer and his thrall shuffled out of the barrow, the barbarian silently staring at them the entire time. As soon as Varlan had departed the barrow, Stönback instantly snapped out of his stupor. The adventurers set off back towards Fjord to tell Daryn all the things they’d discovered and receive their gold payment for a job well done. * Little did the adventurers know, their unsruptulous and fabulous adventures had only just begun. * SESSION END!